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Once you've reached a certain circumference -- approximately the time random objects start orbiting your cleavage -- they simply do not make clothes that fit you. Keep in mind, this is a 5-foot little girl -- I looked like a toddler playing lumberjack, which is honestly a pretty accurate description of me at every age. But I had a huge problem with bras. I had no idea what size I was for a long time, because most stores don't stock sizes past DD.

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Cancel 0 Breasts. Women love them, men love them, children love them, best of all, producers love them. Perky breasts are synonymous with television in the 90s and I compiled the eight best — although not in order — breasts of the pre-noughties.

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But her confidence has been shattered by her breasts. The security guard has been single since her last relationship ended TEN years ago — and she has not had sex in five. Everything I put on makes me feel like a fat heffalump.

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I reluctantly gave them my blessing and watched them drive off with smiles on their faces. My mom had reassured me both her and my dad felt safe leaving me in Chris's capable hands; that we would make new traditions together.

The problem was, I didn't want new traditions.

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